Friday, March 31, 2006

More Artwork


I'll have to be careful or this blog is going to loose its supposed literary focus altogether but for the hell of it - another little drawing I did... The one's I did few days ago and posted here, along with a couple of similar ones are now attracting quite a lot of interest on ebay which is rather gratifying. :-)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Pain and Creative Process

Last night. Agony. Pain which started like a pulled muscle in my back slowly wrapped around me under the rib cage until I couldn't sit or lie down. So by four a.m. I was walking around the flat writing - standing up. The only good thing to come from a night of misery (which had evaporated by today) was the first piece of my own writing I have done for a very long time. I'm posting it on my writing blog: Silver Birch Junction

Monday, March 27, 2006

Erotic Bookplates






Some bookplates I have come across in the course of my dealing life - some of them belong to some pretty well know and influential collectors and/or dealers.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Two New Drawings



Have been experimenting with a new style of drawing in the hope of being able to create some illustrations for future publications. I'm rather fond of the two pieces which resulted. Both are black ink on cream coloured paper. Scanning them has not been easy and they are nothing like as 'dirty-looking' as the scann suggests.

PS. Pernauhm, thanks for the comment on my little piece below (and for the other thing) I hope I made it clear that the story was a true one. Alex, if you should pass this way, I haven't forgotten about you.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Art for the Mood




Found this exhibition online which kind of suits my mood at the moment (see previous post). An imaginative trip through a world populated by a cross between H. P. Lovecraft's Chthulhu denizens and 1940s Sci-Fi magazine artwork.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Bad News Good News

A little while ago I came home from a week away with an old school friend to hear from my partner that while I was away he had a routine HIV test and it had come back positive.

Obviously I had to be tested too and whilst we are still awaiting a second confirmatory test, it seems I am negative.

I could write a small book about the way this is affecting me, him and us but I won't.

As everyone is at constant pains to point out to us, an HIV diagnosis is nothing like it was ten years ago - it's no longer a death sentence. One nurse described HIV today as having a chronic but managable disease like diabetes or epilepsy. This is obviously the good news. So keen are the healthcare professionals to stress that things have changed, it is extremely difficult to get them to say any more than 'well some people are still healthy now 20 years after diagnosis'. In fact they're so upbeat you'd wonder why you were ever upset by the diagnosis in the first place. Of all the millions of questions around at the moment, the most pressing for me, as a negative (fingers crossed) partner of an HIV+ man is - what's the BAD news?

I'm sure it will become clear in time just what the balance of good and bad news is but for now: nothing changes: everything changes. I have an indescribable yearning to be close to him, emotionally, physically: at the same time, we both experience the conflict inside of knowing that our physical and emotional touching is going to be changed in ways we can't yet quite appreciate. The virus now, subdued just a little by advances in treatment, is a more subtle thing it seems, yet our reactions are both subtle and ferocious. Everything we know, we learnt at the height of HIV education campaigns ten years ago or more - now we have to relearn. It was always the supreme irony of HIV that the metaphorical mixing of sex and death, beloved of writers and artists since history began, was made into a real connecion by this virus - now? well until we can get someone to tell us the bad news as well as the good I can't really know what that connection is like today.

How ironic that the thing which indspired me to start a blog was reading the Journals of Derek Jarman. Now it seems I may have another, very different story to tell about HIV. I'm not sure how much of that I will take on. I am comitted to keeping this blog going despite the occasional month-long gap but it may be that I never mention this again or I may use this as a space to write whatever the story ends up being...

Some good news though: we live in a western country - we can get the drugs he will need one day - for that piece of good news at least we can be very thankful...
 
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